


Long Road Out of Eden

by amethyst-noir (Arbonne)



Series: Prompt Collection [27]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Cloak of Levitation (Marvel), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Heavy Angst, Hopeful Ending, Hurt Stephen Strange, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Protective Tony Stark, Stephen has a problem and it's called self-sacrifice, Tony hates it but understands it at the same time, but that doesn't make the aftermath easier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 08:31:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16991559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arbonne/pseuds/amethyst-noir
Summary: Something was wearing Stephen down, little by little, and it broke Tony's heart to watch the man he'd fallen in love with over the last few months getting weaker and more standoffish with each passing day.(Stephen gets sexually assaulted while away from Tony and tries do deal with it on his own. It works about as well as expected.)





	Long Road Out of Eden

**Author's Note:**

> Well, the Tumblr Anons continue to drop painful prompts into my inbox:  
>  _I have this really gut-wrenching prompt that made me really sad after I thought of it. So now I’m sharing the pain with my favourite angst writer! (Established IronStrange for this one) During a sorcerer mission, Stephen is sexually assaulted. And because Stephen is Stephen, he doesn’t tell Tony about it. He’s far too ashamed and believes that he betrayed Tony. But Tony grows more suspicious of his boyfriend, so goes to Wong for answers about what happened on that mission (oh Stephen, I’m sorry)_
> 
> I have to admit that I really liked writing this one. But is also happened while I had a migraine and was high on painkillers. So... sorry, Stephen (and Tony) for everything and I promise that I'll make it up to you. Soon. Pretty soon. Soonish. **Please, please read the warnings.** Everything is alluded to, there will never be graphic violence of a sexual nature in any work of mine, but the subject matter _is_ a sensitive one.

The first time Stephen skillfully extracted himself and turned away from Tony's embrace he let it go. Everybody had a bad day once in a while. But what _had_ been unusual was the way Stephen had flinched when Tony had touched him in greeting. He'd recovered in a second but the moment was now burned into Tony's memory and it nagged at him.

It didn't help that he was called away a few minutes later to an emergency meeting with the UN and when he finally managed to escape from that particular kind of hell Stephen had vanished to parts or dimensions unknown.

It was a pattern that repeated itself over and over again over the next few weeks. Stephen found increasingly implausible explanations for not spending time with Tony and disappeared to run mysterious 'errands' pretty much all the time.

Normally, Tony would have taken it as sign that their time was over and that Stephen just didn't know how to break the bad news, yet. But after a few sleepless nights spent wondering what he'd done wrong and coming up with nothing the finally concluded that no, for once in his life he hadn't fucked up. Stephen still looked at him with affection, even if it was now mixed with distress, and the few times they'd met he'd been honestly regretful for having to go. Once or twice he'd even seen tears in Stephen's eyes but Stephen had always been gone before Tony could do or say anything.

Stephen was, in some regards, the complete opposite to Tony. Thanks to a blend of his natural inclination and a few disastrous relationships in his past he needed time before the got comfortable with physical intimacy and so they'd just started with the sexual side of their relationship. The waiting had been new and unusual for Tony but if time was what Stephen needed than time he would get, Tony had promised. But from the very beginning Stephen had always loved to be kissed and held and now he flinched away even from that.

Something was wearing Stephen down, little by little, and it broke Tony's heart to watch the man he'd fallen in love with over the last few months getting weaker and more standoffish with each passing day.

His increasingly worried questions and messages were mostly ignored but Stephen made no attempts to end their, by this point almost completely virtual, relationship. By now confused worry took up most of Tony's mental capacity and when the day arrived where he couldn't concentrate on anything, except his last memory of Stephen's tear-stained face three days ago, he knew that he finally had to give in and ask for help.

*

The bruises had long since faded and his body no longer showed any signs of the abuse it had to endure. It didn't matter. Just a glimpse of his reflection was enough and Stephen was thrown back into his own private hell. He could still _feel_ cold and cruel talons holding him down, could feel the unwelcome touches, inside and out, could still _smell_ them. Could still _hear_ their threats; almost worse than the things they did to him in the end. 

The moment where they'd forced him down to his knees and told him what they expected of him in return of leaving this dimension alone still played as a repeat one special in his mind and still made him throw up on an almost daily basis.

He wanted to flee into Tony's arms, beg him to shut out the rest of the world and just hold him and tell him that everything would be alright.

He couldn't. 

He had no right to dump all that into Tony's lap, the man had more than enough problems of his own, and it was impossible anyway. For Tony to offer the kind of comfort he craved Stephen would have to _tell_ him first and he would sooner bite off and swallow his own tongue before he'd recount that particular tale ever again. The fear of Tony looking at him with pity and disgust was too great, even though his rational mind insisted that Tony wouldn't make him responsible for it and would never see it as a betrayal.

They'd never talked about being exclusive after all, even though Stephen had known from their first night together that Tony would be the last one for him. He had a sneaking suspicion that, after a lifetime of ever-changing partners, Tony was finally ready to settle down for good, too. As usual, fate had decided to ignore Stephen's wishes. The bitter irony of finally finding someone he really felt comfortable with only to be taken by… _something_ else instead made him choke on his own tears more than once.

He'd tried to picture telling Tony about it but his imagination refused to cooperate and Stephen got nothing but even more nightmares for his efforts.

Speaking about it once had been enough. Wong's horror had been hard enough to bear and just the thought about telling the man he loved the same story made him shudder and throw up once again. He _never_ wanted to see that look of helpless sorrow on Tony's face. Besides, Tony would insist on explanations and that at least was something Wong hadn't needed. He'd known where Stephen had been and what creatures had their fun with Stephen. And why he'd permitted it. More than a few terse words hadn't been necessary and Wong had had the whole picture. He'd silently helped Stephen in dealing with his injuries and had burned the torn robes while Stephen slept under the influence of a spell and tried unsuccessfully to repress everything.

The only good thing was that he hadn't taken the Cloak with him onto this escapade. It, at least, hadn't been forced to stand witness and wasn't tarnished by the awful memories. Stephen wasn't sure if he could accept its efforts to help him now if it had been. 

It was pure exhaustion - and the special tea Wong had brewed for him - that allowed him to sink down into a deep and dreamless sleep straightaway while the Cloak stood watch over him.

*

As soon as it was sure that Stephen was deeply asleep the Cloak left its post by the locked door. But not before unlocking it. It floated over to Stephen and looked down at him. It only had the faintest of notions what happened to its master but it knew that Stephen had gone through something terrible and that the idiot was now refusing any help.

Things couldn't go on like this. It had seen how good the man in the red and gold armor had been for Stephen and by now even the Cloak missed him. It was unusual that a non-magic user took to the Cloak like Tony had. He always had time for a little greeting or a friendly pat and it had seen how happy Tony made Stephen.

The Cloak took a moment to stroke Stephen's face before nodding to itself. Time to intervene then; it was its job to look out for its master and that's what it was going to do. It felt a pang of regret for leaving Stephen alone when it was tasked with his protection but it told itself that that was exactly what it was doing.

Protecting its master. From himself, if necessary. Getting him the help the really needed.

The other sorcerer was waiting just outside the door, looking solemn as almost always. The both made sure that the door was closed tightly.

"How is he?" he asked and the Cloak shrugged in answer. It hoped that it conveyed the seriousness of the situation.

Apparently, it did because Wong nodded. "Stark… Tony," he corrected himself, "called once again. I told him to come over." He gave the closed door a sad look. "I have no idea what to tell him but it - _he_ \- can't go on like this."

The Cloak nodded its assent. It was for telling the truth but it knew that for humans' things where sometimes more complicated. 

"Go back to him," Wong ordered. "Keep watch. I'll work something out with Tony and we'll see where we go from there."

The Cloak went back to its watch and Wong went down to put on some coffee. This was not a conversation for tea, he'd decided.

*

Two hours later Tony had the bare minimum of information but it was more than enough to extrapolate from that. Stephen's behavior suddenly made sense even if Tony wanted to storm upstairs, break down his door and demand to know why he just didn't _tell_ Tony about it. He knew why, but that didn't make it easier to accept.

Wong had assured him that the physical damage had been minimal and that if Stephen hadn't been a highly trained doctor he would have insisted on him seeing one.

"But in the end, there was nothing I could do," Wong finally said. "I tried to respect his wishes in keeping everything secret but enough is enough."

Strictly speaking Wong hadn't betrayed Stephen's confidence. He'd just told Tony that Stephen had gotten hurt a couple of weeks ago and that he had troubles in accepting that fact. But Wong's carefully chosen words, his grave face and Stephen's own behavior since then made it easy for Tony to see the truth. It wasn't the first time that he was confronted with that subject after all.

"So he thinks that he can deal with it on his own? That's bullshit." Tony finally set the empty cup, he'd been strangling for the last minutes of their conversation, down.

"I don't think that," Stephen suddenly said from behind him. Tony almost fell down to the floor while trying to turn around while Wong just serenely stared into the emptiness of his own cup. "I just don't know how to ask for help."

Stephen looked like hell. Trembling all over, even paler than usual and Tony was quite sure that he'd lost weight he couldn't really afford to lose. The circles under his eyes were darker than ever and without the support of the door and the Cloak he'd probably collapse on the floor. The Cloak waved a sheepish greeting at them and then tried to hide behind Stephen.

Tony's brain went offline. Love and desperation and a hopeless longing to make everything go away propelled him forwards to Stephen without thinking about the consequences. In the last moment he made sure to telegraph his intention and it took Stephen only a moment to decide.

He made the necessary step forwards to fall into Tony's waiting arms and just _clung_ to him with all the strength he could muster. Which wasn't much. Tony swallowed and closed his eyes against his own tears as the first of Stephen's sobs filled the air.

"Shh, I've got you," he tried and hated himself for the inanity of his words. But Stephen was still trying to get even closer into his embrace so his nonsense of soothing noises, mixed with Stephen's name and useless platitudes seemed to do _something_. _You're safe now, nobody can hurt you now_ , he wanted to say be he still didn't know enough about the situation to be sure about that. And he refused to make a promise he couldn't keep. "We'll get through this," he said instead. He didn't know how or how long it would take but they would. Somehow.

Stephen was still holding on to him and not reacting to anything else. Wong finally stood up and gestured at Tony and the Cloak to take Stephen

"Put him back to bed," he said. "He shouldn't even be awake right now but thanks to his connection to the Sanctum he probably felt your arrival subconsciously and woke up." Another long look. "More or less."

Tony had to concur. Stephen hadn't looked or sounded quite awake. If he'd been he'd probably flee to the other end of the Earth instead of coming into the kitchen to investigate.

With the help of the Cloak, which took most of his weight, he picked Stephen up. "Back to bed with you. You need your rest." And food. And maybe a therapist, but Tony wasn't delusional enough to believe that Stephen would accept that kind of help. He could only hope to be a halfway adequate substitute.

Stephen instinctively put his head on Tony's shoulder. The simple gesture made Tony's heart sing. Not everything was lost if Stephen still searched him unconsciously out. He wasn't used to have such immense amounts of trust put into him but he would do everything in his power to be worthy of it.

"He didn't flee from _you_ ," Wong explained as he led the way to Stephen's bedroom. "Just from everything else."

Tony looked down at the man drowsing in his arms. "I know. He just did what I would have done. Maybe with a little bit less self-destruction." Some differences, yes, but in some other things they were the same. Self-destruction, unfortunately, was a trait they shared.

" _Less?!_ " Wong repeated incredulously. He shook his head and waved Tony's answer away as he opened the door and allowed Tony to pass through. "Don't tell me, I don't want to know. This one gives me more than enough sorrow." His sad look betrayed his harsh words. "You'll stay with him? I think he'd prefer you to me when he wakes up."

Tony nodded and carefully put Stephen down after the Cloak had extricated itself. "Of course." He grabbed the blanket and put it over Stephen, unsure what to do next. Grab the chair and move it next to the bed? Get into the bed, next to Stephen? Go down on his knees, pray and hope for time to turn back? "I've got all the time in the world. I wasn't doing anything important in the last few days anyway. I was too busy worrying."

"Sorry," Stephen whispered. "I'll be okay. Just…"

"Don't even finish that sentence," Tony warned and put a hand over Stephen's mouth to prevent exactly that. Stephen's stupid words had made the decision for him. He got in on the other side of the bed. "How close to you want me?" He was sitting up and contemplating how to do this.

Instead of a verbal answer he got Stephen's face, pressed against his thigh, and Stephen's arms across his legs, holding him in place. It was enough of a response. After another moment of indecision Tony put his hand on Stephen's head. When that gesture didn't produce reaction, except for a soft sigh, he began to carefully pet his hair.

"They didn't hold me down by my shoulders or held my head still," Stephen suddenly said. "They didn't have to." He still didn't sound quite awake but his words made sense so there was some kind of awareness there. "You don't have to be afraid to trigger a violent response by touching me there." A short pause. "There'll be other ones I'm afraid."

 _Fuck._ The clearer the picture got the more Tony hated it. The wanted to shush Stephen, to tell him that he didn't have to talk about it. He managed to keep the words in at the last moment. "Whenever you're ready," he said instead. "And now shut up and go back to sleep."

Tony could _feel_ Stephen smiling. "I just want to enjoy this moment first." He pulled back a little to sleepily blink up at Tony. "Come down here and hold me for real," he demanded and made just enough space for Tony to be able to do that.

"Is that okay?" Tony asked a few minutes later, when Stephen's head rested on his chest and Stephen's held on to him like he was a lifeline. Tony made sure that his own hold was much looser.

"Hmm, perfect," Stephen murmured.

Tony was bored to hell and back again in minutes and not the least bit tired but he could suffer through a few hours of mind-numbing nothingness if it helped Stephen to get some much-needed rest. Also, he had to get away from the tea he'd used in the last few weeks, as Wong had told Tony. And if the price for that was lying still and holding the man he loved more than anyone else in the world in his arms Tony was more than willing to pay it for as long as necessary. 

"Stop thinking, Tony, it's too loud." 

He resumed his stroking of Stephen's hair, trying to lose himself in the rhythmic motion. "Sorry, not sorry," he finally answered. "Go to sleep."

Instead of doing that Stephen rolled over to lie on his back but he made sure to stay in contact with Tony.

The silence, that fell, was the heaviest that had ever been between them. It was Tony who broke first. "Did you know?"

He could see Stephen swallow and not even try to pretend that he didn't know what the question was about. "I knew that there was a distinct possibility that they might force me into things I didn't want, yes," he finally said. His eyes were open and clear, staring unseeing at the ceiling.

Tony wanted to scream and shout, to stand up and pace around. Instead he took Stephen's trembling left hand in his and just stayed silent, waiting.

"You would have done the same, if our positions had been reversed."

"Probably," Tony agreed. Self-preservation had not been his strongest motivation in the past ten years but self-sacrifice had. Another similarity between them and one that drove them up the walls and into heated arguments on a regular basis. "But some kind of warning would have been nice."

"Yeah." Stephen's eyes closed. "Just like that time when you decided the only way to take out the invading alien ship was by flying up there into its belly and destroy it from the inside. Without telling anyone about it. I believed that you were dead for _hours_ before you decided to grace us with your return."

Tony didn't like where this conversation was going. A trip through the worst-of collection of both their most stupid decisions wasn't on his agenda. "Easier to ask forgiveness than permission?"

"Something like that. Also, I honestly didn't think that it would come to this point." Stephen looked up again and there was a hint of color in his cheeks. "It might take me some time before…"

Once again Tony stopped the useless words with a hand on Stephen's mouth. "Don't even dare to finish that sentence," he growled once again. He hated the fact that that seemed to be his new standard response as soon as Stephen started to speak. He wasn't usually that stupid or Tony would have run away a long time ago. "I'm not here for that and you damn well know it." He could feel Stephen relax beside him and permitted his own body to get down from high alert, too. "You just tell me what you need from me and I'll do my best to provide it. That's all I'm asking for."

"Thank you, Tony." _For giving me time, once again_ , went unsaid.

"Anything, Stephen. Remember that. And now shut up and try to sleep. You look like three-day old hell warmed up in the microwave."

There was a mumbled "love you, too" and then, finally, silence.

Tony made sure that he still had Stephen's hand in a loose grip as he took out his phone with the other. He still had a few coding problems with the newest version of the newest OS for the armor and could use a few hours of uninterrupted time to iron them out. Pun fully intended. Tony smiled to himself at the path his thoughts were taking but he couldn't really concentrate on the code. After a few minutes he put the phone down to just look at Stephen.

 _I'll get you through this_ , he promised them both. Despite everything, Stephen still wanted to be in the same bed as him, still wanted to be in his arms. Tony was used to having to fight with everything he had for anything he really wanted. He'd done it before, for his company, for Pepper, for his friends, for his world and the whole _universe_. He could do it for the rest of his life if it meant he got to share it with Stephen. 

His free hand went up to the nanite-reactor sitting on his chest. He held on to it for a long moment before finally removing it. Stephen had talked him out if re-implanting the thing into his body after the whole Thanos-fiasco, and in hindsight Tony was glad about that, but he still had to have it on or at least near him at all times. He needed it to protect the ones he loved. But how to protect those who went away on extra-dimensional adventures on a regular basis?

Stephen went where Tony could never follow. He could only wait and hope that whatever happened Stephen would return home and that he was strong enough to pick up the pieces. They'd had to talk about that, Tony decided. Soon. Stephen needed to understand that there was absolutely nothing in the whole of creation that would not make him welcome back in Tony's arms.

"I love you," he whispered. He put the phone down on the nightstand and placed the reactor besides it before turning around to gather Stephen in his arms. Stephen sighed softly and burrowed into Tony's chest, searching for his heartbeat. It was a familiar move and one that had prevented Tony from having regrets about not having the surgery. It also had been Stephen's main argument against it, together with a lot of medical technobabble Tony had pretended to not understand or care about.

 _I want to hear your heartbeat, not some motor_ , he'd said, as he put his head on Tony's chest. Looking back that had been the day when being in Tony's arms had become Stephen's default sleeping position if they spent the night in the same location; a couple of days after their first night together. 

Tony tightened his hold and settled down to wait. Forever, if necessary.

**Author's Note:**

> [Here's](https://amethyst-noir.tumblr.com/post/181117426796/i-have-this-really-gut-wrenching-prompt-that-made/) the original Tumblr ask. (With extended author's notes, as usual.)  
> I can also be found on [DW](https://arbonne.dreamwidth.org/).


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